Golden Truths From My Last 50 years
It’s easy to relish Life when things are going well. Reality reminds us, however, that Happy doesn’t happen 100% of the time--and rough times can really rid the joy out of this mother trucking life. When overwhelmed or feeling stuck, I can get trapped in helplessness, fear, anger, or even rage. This drama can keep repeating, or sometimes devolve into anxiety and depression, even disease. Such experiences strained my relationships with those closest to me—metaphorically smacking me into diving deep and understanding my true Self, toward seeking Mentors and finding effective Modalities—all aimed at walking a path toward self-mastery, resilience and growth.
My name is Julian and I’m on a quest to learn from my past, to discover my true, unique gifts and to share these with my loved ones and with whoever in the world that’s willing to listen. Year 2023 is extra special to me, because this year I turned 50 years old. While I used to cringe at the thought of reaching 50--notorious for arthritis, wobbly knees, less bladder control and other unglamorous stuff-- I also discovered that 50 marks a gateway into state of ‘Eldership’. This, in tribal cultures, carries responsibilities of Mentor, Protector, Keeper of Wisdom & Stability. 50 likewise marks time for change, deliverance, freedom from burden, self-determination, independence and taking charge of one’s Life
That said, any attempt at change, freedom or deliverance requires past perspective, a no-BS recognition of what’s present and skillful integration of all these—to build a conscious, creative approach to survive, thrive and enjoy Life. I relish fond memories of growing up--like ‘dates’ with mom & dad, playtime with my sister and playing street basketball where I met most of my early friends. I absolutely cherish marrying my beloved, Meg, having children and succeeding professionally. Along the road, I also learned to find ‘gems’ from challenging, or even excruciating, difficult moments. Looking back, these mostly involved dealing with loss—like the time Meg and I lost our baby in miscarriage, the death of Mom & Dad, past fights with my Wife, and early on, getting fired from my first real job in Finance.
Mining gains, from moments of pain
Born in 1973, I’ve lived quite the roller coaster ride. I grew up in a house full of love—surrounded by loving parents and a devoted Sister. At the same time, that home yearned deeper emotional connection and financial security, which caused ‘routine’ moments of drama. In 1991, I somehow survived, miraculously, a horrific car crash in Tagaytay. Barely two years later, I lost Mom in a road accident in Iloilo. In the mid-90s, I landed my dream job as a stock market analyst, only to get fired 2 months later--for not ‘hitting the ground running’. In the 2000s, I met and married the love of my life, Meg. Our marriage had its ups and downs, including the loss of our first child to miscarriage. Our sacred union was fraught with times of disconnection, as I found it challenging to be fully present with Meg. These, among other experiences, planted seeds of fear of the world around me and insecurity in my ability to be present and handle or navigate challenges. The experiences of loss also instilled an understanding of the flimsiness and fragility of life.
These events led me on a journey of self-discovery, initially through meditation and mindfulness. Disconnection growing up allowed me to appreciate the importance of connecting with myself first, before being able to effectively connect with others. This helped my self-trust to grow and my relationships to deepen. My near-death experience and the loss of Mom, Dad and our unborn child showed me the fleeting nature of life and the need to appreciate the people around me more, to define my purpose, find my voice, and share my gifts within what’s left of this brief lifetime. Getting fired early in my career directed me to find proper mentorship and taught me the value of resilience by finding Mentors, as well as realizing that there are always creative paths to growth.
These are important, because living is largely about learning—and as challenging events have, for me, presented a treasure chest of messages, wisdom and valuable tools--always profoundly teaching me something. Always. Do note that I’m still on this evolving journey, and far from where I want to be. My intention is simply to present relatable perspective and, perhaps inspire you to reflect on & refine your own growth path, to consider releasing yourself from limiting beliefs, practices (or people?) that stifle your unique journey.
My (1st 10) Golden Truths
That said, below are the Essential truths I learned, distilled over the past 50 years, which provide a constant source of guidance & grounding for me today—harvested from my life’s exhilarating peaks and, mostly, mined from excruciating, rock-bottom moments. These aim to provide pathways for: (1) Finding lasting joy and fulfilment within, (2) being Present & Focusing on the Journey to enjoy Life and (3) taking control of life by facing Shadows and aligning efforts/energy with one’s values, purpose and passion.
Your Treasure Lies Within. Lasting joy isn’t found in external validation—it’s cultivated from within. Change your beliefs, change your life.
Process Over Outcome. True freedom comes from detachment and unconditional love, not from chasing results.
Growth Hides in the Shadows. The things we reject, suppress, and deny hold the most important lessons for our evolution.
Confidence is Built, Not Given. It comes from commitment, embracing discomfort, and trusting in your own resilience.
Life Happens For You, Not To You. Shift from victim to creator—take ownership, shape your reality.
Presence is the Ultimate Gift. The quality of your relationships defines the quality of your life. Be here, fully.
Daily Practices Create Inner Peace. Nurture your nervous system, body, and spirit with rituals like meditation, journaling, gratitude, and movement.
Purpose Fuels Direction. A clear purpose doesn’t just guide you—it fills your life with joy.
Never Lose Your Sense of Play. Humor, creativity, and playfulness belong in every chapter of life.
Seek Mentorship, Seek Growth. The right guidance makes the journey lighter, faster, and far more fun.